Trying to keep moving

I haven't posted in a long time.

Reading the previous posts just make me cry. I still cry alot. I lost the baby (babies) at 7.5weeks. I would have been 12 weeks today.

I started spotting at 6.5 weeks and the doctor's said it was normal. Not until 3 days later did I beg to come in. They said that they wouldn't be able to see anything on a sonogram so I begged for a blood test. I had two. My HCG levels declined. So the bleeding wasn't just bleeding. They were gone.

I am so scared. I am scared that I will never get over this pain. I am scared that I will never know what it is like to hold my child. I am scared to try again.